Conversation with my friend R_:
Me: My husband texted me to find out what I was doing. I told him, “Hot flashing Mother Fucker.”
R_: What!! Does B_ like it when you answer him like that?
Me: When we first began dating he mistook the pet name as an insult (imagine that!!), got butt hurt, and suggested I stop.
I hated the idea of conforming to social norms with a less spirited personality in order to please him. To change who I was–or who I was becoming–felt stifling, akin to the controlled environment of my past. As much as I wanted to please my sweetheart, I knew it was more important to stay true to myself…and my need for uncensored self expression. I responded with this:
Hell no mother fucker! How about I use it more lard balls?! Maybe if I use it often enough you’ll pull your pious throbbing butt stick out your frigging hairy anus and realize I’m just being the same adorable snarky girlfriend you were smitten with the first day we met. And, just so ya know ya shit twat, the word, Mother Fucker–and its associated variations of fuck, fucking, fucked, fucker, fuckwit, fuckup, fucktard, and fuckity fuck fuck–is a fucking awesome word! 😉 😉
Did ya see the two winky smiley faces I inserted my love? I used, and will continue to use, winky smiley faces so you’ll know I’m just messin around. Pay attention to the winkies ya plump-lipped, flat-assed, one-eyed trouser snake dingle dong.